In my early youth, I watched the film *The Silent Scream*, which shaped my worldview regarding abortion forever. My life took a winding path. It so happened that for a time I suffered from schizophrenia or, as I prefer to put it, I was tormented by satan. I was miraculously healed during a service for the healing of soul and body at the Marian Sanctuary in Wąwolnica. I have been off medication for four years (though I advise others against stopping their medication). Throughout this time, I have worked as a teacher. To avoid losing my way in life again, I regularly participate in the sacramental life of the Catholic Church. I pray, read the Holy Bible, go to confession regularly, and receive Holy Communion daily. I am becoming an increasingly joyful person. There is more and more life within me. My experience prior to my miraculous healing leads me to believe that there is no such thing as mental illness. There is only satanic torment, which we humans try to label in various ways—calling it depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or post-abortion syndrome. These are all forms of torment by evil spirits, as described in the Holy Bible. There were some evil spirits that even the Apostles could not cast out; they could only be driven out by Jesus or through fasting and prayer. I mention this because my experience of torment made me realize one important thing. Namely, that the greatest lie of the last few decades is the claim that something like "post-abortion syndrome" does not exist. Herein lies a paradox for me: in my view, post-abortion syndrome indeed does not exist—not because a woman feels no suffering after an abortion, but because it is not a syndrome at all; rather, it is torment inflicted by an evil spirit. People do not believe this because the medications are working., after all, medicines cannot affect the spirit. Yet other substances do—alcohol, drugs, and so on. The Book of Wisdom in the Bible speaks of this: "It was neither herb nor poultice that healed them, but Your word, O Lord, which heals all things." I can confirm this because I have experienced it myself. I will refer here to Saint Ignatius of Loyola, to whom it was revealed that our thoughts fall into three categories: 1. our own, 2. from God, and 3. from satan. My own satanic torment (schizophrenia) was precisely an excess of these thoughts from the evil spirit. Where does such an excess of satanic thoughts come from? The answer is... from sin. I had repressed my sin into my subconscious. I did not confess it at the proper time. Scripture speaks of unforgiven sin ripening, and that is what happened in my case. The sin festered for several years, and at a moment convenient for the devil—a crisis at work—anxiety and dark thoughts overtook me. These thoughts were incredibly intrusive, and the anxiety was immense. It is exhausting; one cannot sleep at night and becomes utterly drained. I had had enough. Yet, I did not know how to defend myself against it. I was a non-believer. The suffering is so intense that one grasps at any possibility to end that state. satan planted the thought in my mind that I should self-harm. I mutilated myself brutally—though I will omit the details, as they are gruesome (and bear a resemblance to the suffering endured by a child undergoing abortion). As one might expect, self-mutilation did not help. Any mortal sin can have such consequences. However, I wish to issue a special warning to women who are considering abortion or who have already had one without confessing it. To the former, I earnestly plead: do not do it. There are other solutions, such as a "baby box" or adoption. Even if you do not believe you are harming the child, do not go through with it—if only out of mercy for yourself. The Devil is not particularly wise, but he possesses a certain cunning; for him, a sin such as killing one’s own child is a tremendous prize. If the sin remains unconfessed and unforgiven by God, it will—as happened in my case—fester and inevitably be exploited by the Devil to torment the woman (this bears a resemblance to my own "schizophrenia"). It seems to me—however imperfectly—that one can compare the suffering of the mother and the "participants" in the abortion to the suffering of the child. As I mentioned, this comparison is flawed and incomplete, yet it offers some insight. Abortion is a terrible, painful, and brutal ordeal for the child; limbs are torn away, and the head is often crushed. It may sound shocking, but I believe the child's mother will endure even greater suffering if she does not reconcile with Jesus and repent for her deed. Unfortunately, it is also likely that this suffering will last for all eternity. Mathematicians have tried to help people visualize eternity by describing it as a span of time in which, if one were to flip a coin, it would be highly probable that "tails"—for instance—would come up a million times in a row. Please heed my plea and receive the sacraments of Confession and Holy Communion. You can also seek help from foundations that support women in such situations, such as Rachel's Vineyard. In time, the belief that God has truly forgiven us will come, and then the moment will arrive when we forgive ourselves. Of course, one can suppress this knowledge and risk having an abortion—or, having already had one, fail to confess it and push the matter into the subconscious. That is what I did. And I paid a huge price for it.You really are taking a huge risk. A huge, huge risk.

Mariusz